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Wife to husband as the Grim Reaper waits at the door. “Hon, could you check the expiration date on the Cheez Whiz?”
Patient to doctor. “I think I should warn you —— I have a very eclectic bunch of symptoms.”
One computer operator to another. “The E-Mail isn’t functioning — pass it on.”
C.E.O. talking at boardroom meeting. “Hemple, you did the play-by-play of our meeting with Amalgamated—is the ball now in their court or in our court?”
Employee sitting at desk talking to employer. “I know it doesn’t look like I’m doing anything, chief, but believe me I’m like a cat ready to pounce.”
Man on telephone in office. “What do you mean, ‘Have your lawyer call my lawyer’? . . . you are my lawyer!”
Man talking on phone. “Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to re-market myself.”
Business man sitting at his desk with a though balloon reading:”Halfway to a paycheck.” Thought for Wednesday
Newsanchor introducing a political anylist on his right, and a magician on his left. “And on my left is ‘The Great Fantino,’ who takes the position that the deficit will disappear by magic.”
Two men sitting in armchairs. “Remember, money is only a tool - to make more money.”
News anchorman reporting on T.V. “Analysts blamed the market’s volatility on computer-directed trading while computers blamed it on analyst-directed trading.”
One man to another at cocktail party. “Look, maybe I’m wrong about South East Asia, but it’s only a party so why not lighten up and agree with me?”
Two business executives looking out the window of their office. “Ah, what a great day to be alive and not under indictment.”
Bank teller to customer. “Yes, your deposit is federally insured, but only up to six dollars. Now, how would you like that?”
One man talking to another. “True, the private sector has its benefits, but, then again, so does the public trough.”
Man talking on phone, getting personal information from his computer screen. “Fine, Al, and how are you, your charming wife, Joni; your two wonderful children, Charles and Lisa, ages thirteen and fifteen; and your delightful German short-haired pointer, Avondale?”
Defendant to judge. 'Your Honor, gangsta rap made me do it.'
Magician sawing woman in operating room. Operating Room Magician
Man at desk with one computer in the ‘in’ box and on in the ‘out’ box connected to each other. Update The Paperless Office
One amoeba to another. 'You're wasting your time. I'm asexual.'
One man hoding money to another reading a newspaper. “I don’t know a damn thing about monetary policy, but I know what I like.”
Executive on intercom talking to secretary. 'Miss Braverman, bring in everything we've got on long division.'
Doctor talking to patient. 'Your present state is caused by a hypersensitivity to existentialist thought.
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